Working on Hope

I have a long history of vulvar pain.  A long history of confusing symptoms, nerve-wracking doctors' appointments, difficult treatments, therapies involving the most sensitive area of my body, crippled sexual ability, secret sadness and feelings of isolation.  But hey, I shouldn't dwell on the past, right?  Except that the past hasn't passed.  I'm still experiencing all of these things.  I try to stay positive, optimistic, hopeful.  Hope is a psychological skill, an ability to imagine something happening- and believing that it can happen, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.  I struggle with hope constantly.  Hope is tough for me, because with every treatment that doesn't work, and all the months that pass without healing, my doubts are reinforced.  I'm trying to improve my skills of hope.